Don't forget, the closing date for The Writers Bureau 2007 Poetry & Short Story Competition is 30th June. So, hurry to get your entries in.
And before you do, here is our set of tips showing you how to avoid the things that really turn off a competition judge. He or she will obviously aim to be as fair as possible, but you owe it to yourself to make sure you create a good impression.
If your entry contains anything that is irritating, nasty, amateurish, smug or simply gratuitous, it's likely to be a huge turn-off. And it only takes a moment to lose goodwill.
The following list isn't definitive but it does cover most of the major no-nos. We suggest you don't submit work that's:
Bitter or carping. By all means use your writing to launch attacks on those you think are corrupt, dishonest, bigoted or dangerous. Speak out against injustice and evil. But beware seeming to be jaundiced in your attitude or unnecessarily nasty, offensive or smugly superior in tone.
Shoddily produced. The inevitable message this conveys is that you thought the competition wasn't worth the effort. How a piece looks is as important as what it says. Scrappy work will be quickly discarded.
Difficult to decipher. If the judge struggles to understand what you're saying or trying to say he/she won't have the time or inclination to code-break. So have a friend read through your work before submitting it, to spot anything ambiguous, cryptic or woolly.
Obviously done tongue in cheek. No matter how hard you try to hide it, your lack of honesty and sincerity will show through. Never tackle a type of writing if you don't believe in its merits or cynically think it's so simplistic and easy that anyone can churn it out. Be especially careful when attempting a send-up. Remember that there's a thin line between producing an affectionate parody of a genre, and seeming to sneer at it.
Written in a stream-of-consciousness style that does not make sense. If you want the strange and worrying workings of your subconscious scrutinised, go and see a psychiatrist. Don't inflict it on a competition judge.
Been created while under the influence of drink or drugs. You may think what you penned in a state of chemically induced euphoria is profound and moving, but more than likely it'll just be gibberish. Beware of inner voices telling you that what you've written is a masterpiece it'll be the booze talking.
Racist. No competition will give bigots or extremists a platform to spread hate, intolerance and misery.
Sexist or ageist. Apart from being a fairly unpleasant thing to do, how do you know who will read the piece in the course of the contest? The named judge might be a young man, but he may only be seeing a selection of the entries. The panel sifting through to compile an initial shortlist may be made up of women and pensioners. Some may even be women pensioners! Dare you risk upsetting them?
Seeking to poke fun at any minority. Even if you don't mean any harm many readers will find this unacceptable and ill-considered. Beware scapegoating any group.
Seeking to ridicule the under-privileged, mentally disturbed or disabled. If you're even tempted to do this, you should have a long hard look in the mirror.
Terminally depressing. It's possible to write about any subject even death without plunging the reader into the depths of despair. Aim to be as optimistic and upbeat as the topic allows.
Twee or cute. No fluffy-tailed bunny rabbits, twinkling-eyed grannies, talking toasters, people too nice to be true, "gosh, super, jolly hockey sticks" dialogue, or "It's a Wonderful Life" style guardian angels.
Designed to show how wonderful or knowledgeable the writer is. No-one likes a show-off. You may be clever, talented, charming and fragrant, but leave it to others to sing your praises. Otherwise, people might think you're just big headed!
Didactic or preachy. No-one likes listening to a lecture on morals or being told how to behave or what to think.
Too religious. Those who don't share your faith and zeal will find it makes them uncomfortable.
Pokes fun at religion. Apart from the risk of ending up on an international hit list, there's no point in needlessly offending people. By all means make serious, valid, points even critical ones about faiths, but avoid seeing religion as an easy target for humour.
Party political. Be aware that your view of how the country should be run may differ dramatically from other people's including, more than likely, the judge's. Keep your politics a secret between you and the ballot box.
Perhaps the biggest turn-off is where the writer deliberately tries to shock or scandalise. This is something new writers often attempt, wrongly believing that the only way to make an impact is to alarm and startle the reader with gory descriptions, sickening imagery and excessive bad language. It's vital to know where to draw the line, to be aware of what is permissible and what isn't. Shaking an audience out of its complacency is one thing, but there's no excuse for trying to "gross out" or mortify your readers.
In fact, we'd argue that there's no need for excessive use of sexual or violent imagery in any work, especially if it isn't central to the theme of the piece and is just there for titillation. Writing can still be extremely realistic dark and disturbing, mean and moody without resorting to cheap tactics.
We know that competitions offer more freedom of subject and style than most mainstream magazines, but there are still taboos that mustn't be broken.
Always avoid sexual swear words, any sex act that is illegal, any story or poem which glorifies violence, abuse or rape and any material that would obviously cross the good taste boundary such as cannibalism, mutilation, bestiality, torture, incest and the humorous treatment of Aids.
It's basically a case of using common sense. You should instinctively know when you are heading on to dangerous territory. Don't risk your work being rejected for a tacky thrill.
Remember that the judge will be looking for a poem or short story that can safely be published in a mainstream magazine if it wins, and which won't offend an average, fair-minded audience. There's no room for pornography, erotica, sick humour or extreme violence.
Incidentally, even an erotica competition will insist that all sex is non-violent, legal and between consenting adults.
So, think before you start writing and good luck with your entry/ies.